If someone were to ask me what I’d do if money was no object or if I had all the money I could ever use I would make sure all my needs are met and then save the world. I guess you could say those are my ultimate goals in life. Those are the things that would make me most happy and I don’t see the point of striving for anything less than the ideal. So then the question is how will I get to the point where I have all them money I could ever use or where money is no object. Well one thing that is extremely important in getting there will be other people. I can’t make money if I can’t find work, and I can’t find work(good work)(especially in this economy) without connections. Money only exists as a way to smooth out work related interactions between people who may otherwise try to take advantage of one another. If everyone where best friends, money would be no object. Digressing… now.
In fact at least for me, and I guess many introverts reading articles on how to network, the only thing standing between me and a good job, are connections. Now I could go out and meet people and eventually happen across a few good “connections” and maybe keep in touch, but I think the issue with introverts goes deeper than this. Introverts as I mentioned before have a gift, the gift of information, thoughts, ideas, innovations, that come about when an introvert spends time alone thinking. Think Jesus spending time in the wild. Or Moses. However in today’s society, thoughts, ideas, innovations, research, are supposed to be capitalized on for economic gain. Think “intellectual property”. So everyone takes this idea that they need to be paid for everything they do. Extroverts who have a separate gift of “the gab” or just that social energy that keeps going and going and going, will always be able to say,”work is work and friendships are about the social interaction”. However the social interaction and extrovert can provide is far more powerful than that of an introvert…unless… the introvert is relaying something of value to the recipient through that interaction. So here is the thing, introverts will probably have a lot to say on certain topics but what if by chance they are speaking with someone who doesn’t care about any of what an introvert can think to talk about at the moment. Hmmm, if only the introvert knew something of value they could say the the other, but wait, to go home and think of something based on the others needs, maybe even research something and learn about something new, well that sounds interesting, but it also sounds like work. Like something you should only do if your paid for it. Otherwise your being a sellout? Hmmm. In my situation it took time to think this through but it goes back to what I said at the beginning which was “I would save the world”. So basically if I did have all my needs met I would want to help this person with his needs, for free, so its not selling out cause its something I would like to do at one point. Just only when I have all my needs met. Hmmm, but helping out this individual is completely within my power right now, where as getting a job without connections is not. So should I just sit on my hands or maybe I should adjust my goals?
Maybe a better goal would be to work on having all your needs met and saving the world at the same time.
Or even, saving the world seeing it as the best way to see your needs be met since its the only path that seems fruitful.
So is this selling out?
Does a comedian or a class clown feel good when he/she is the only one laughing at their jokes?
Are men happy to hear that women “fake it”?
Do most people naturally want to help others in need?
Do most people laugh harder when watching a comedy with others or alone?
The answers to these questions are significant because they are an easy way of showing just how much we like others to be happy. Our happiness depends on it .
So by deciding to let the system of money for work rule your thinking to the extent that you would deny helping others for free because “beneath you” is actually denying you one of the things you want the most in life, to help others. As well by extension, if you are an introvert it may be denying you both that and your own needs.
So Steve Pavlina suggested that people try for a month or something either working only for yourself, or only for others, I was naturally inclined to choose only for others but that seemed to be partially out of a sense of guilt. I felt like it was bad to only be out for yourself. Then however for a few reasons, one being the idea of loving yourself completely, I decided I would actually try being only for myself for a few months. My reasoning was that denying myself happiness and only working towards others goals was actually not good for anyone because I wouldn’t be being true to myself and therefore not happy. Unhappy people usually aren’t good for others. Anyways I am ending the experiment into being all for myself, “The Dark side” as some might call it. It just isn’t the right way to go about things, at least not for me.
It showed me that it’s literally a fantasy to be some kind of self made man who simply soiled away at hard work and became rich. I mean I’m sure it’s happened, but its a fantasy for it to be something I could enjoy doing. That kind of man, is either an extrovert who makes everyone around him feel good just by his sociability and can otherwise focus on his work. Or a very sad introvert. In my opinion. This is just my experience thought, and it seems its Steve Pavlina’s also.
Does this mean introverts really are second class citizens? Since unlike extroverts, they are more likely to be in a situation where they have to work for free. I think that questions comes from the frame of mind that people are actually supposed to work for money and not other people. I choose not to believe in that. Not to say I don’t expect to be paid a good salary, just that I choose to help people whether I’m being paid to or not, and I’ll do it because deep down I know it’s where my heart is. Because we are so under the influence of this way of thinking that everything has to be a fair trade I think people need to consciously find their humanity again. Some people, I guess, reach the point where they feel their humanity isn’t serving them and maybe in some situations it won’t be directly or visibly serving them but I believe in the greater scheme of things humanity is one of the greatest strengths a person can have. Therefore I make the conscious decision to chose the light side, the self-less polarity, knowing it’s actually completely self serving at the same time, serving my desire to help others and my desire to help myself. That is what I call Bi-Wining.