Sometimes I wonder. Is it some kind of blessing for those who have a solid work ethic and are able to work hard at whatever they set they’re mind to? Some kind of curse for those who are not motivated to strive for excellence in their lives, to achieve? I think of people who are not constantly striving to better themselves. I think of the classic pot head who just sits in their mom’s house or whatever the stereotype, you can picture it I’m sure.

When the “cursed” meet the “blessed” you can see the dissonance. You see the “cursed” acknowledge their curse as if they were hearing a maternal/paternal voice in their head say, “you haven’t amounted to anything”. However, I don’t think shame is a reason to work hard. I think that is bull crap. I wonder if that parental voice had eyes to go with it and a memory of her child playing with lego. Did that count as “amounting”?

“amounting” shouldn’t be a way of owning up to some inherent shame of not wanting to do something that isn’t fun. If you think your kid should be independent, stop feeding him. Basically, people do things they are motivated to do. Kids play cause it’s fun. They play with lego cause it’s fun. If a kid plays with lego, and then kinects, and then mindstorm, and the arduino, he’s an engineer. If the kid is told that play is a waste of time and that it’ll make him a bum, his core positive motivation to achieve is being taken away from him. Then all he has is shame if he gives a crap what his parents say.

Or he’ll get what ever job he needs to get to buy what he wants.

However I’v been thinking, some people are specialists. They work on one or two things and get good at them. One might be a hobby, another a profession. Usually I think specialists feel the urge to have money to get the things they want so they are willing to work hard on one thing and get good at it.

Some people are multidisciplinary. They have multiple hobbies and a profession that maybe one of their hobbies. I think multidisciplinary types care less about things that cost money, they are more focused on creating wealth for themselves. Customized wealth that only they can create, in many areas. So they would rather do whatever job and then create the wealth they want on the side.

The job is still worth having but it doesn’t have to be the most amazing 6 figure job if that isn’t important. However eventually with all the skills that are built up and with the technology available, I think other people will see the value in these creations and be willing to pay for them. Either that or there is a way to mould all the hobbies into one underlying thing like a wide field like psychology, sociology, math, programming. However the cost of school and the rigidity might be a turn off.


So now that we’re clear that basing self worth
on what other people value, is based on scarcity.

That the truth is that we are all %100 responsible for
our selves.

That with the abundance we have we have no need of
idolizing or fawning over others because we are
well equipped to achieve our happiness on our own.

We also have no need to feel lacking when another
only pays attention to us for being “cool” or gives
any other indication of lack. We have no need to care
because it is not our responsibility, we only are
responsible for yourself and have a winning can do anything

We therefore see no lack in others, or look down on others.
They, like us, are only responsible for their own
happiness and they are working towards it like any
sentient being does.

There fore There is no need to compete to be the best
or better, to receive that recognition (real or imagined).
Therefore no one’s judgement of me as being less,
an AFC, or losing to them in anyway, or being a loser
in anyway is actually correct. They are viewing life from
the scarcity perspective. An illusion. The reality is I am
in abundant supply of life and love and I am working towards
more happiness. There is no lose. Only more good.

To me, even those with the scarcity mindset aren’t actually
in scarcity. They are still in abundance because they are still
working towards their happiness and still have hope. I have
faith in them.

After coming to these conclusions I decided I would take
the plunge into not trying to work towards any special
achievement other than what would make me feel good.

As I tried to do this I still felt drawn to the idea of
becoming more powerful. I though this was still about
power as others see it, power that makes you feel more
worthy of living(based on the scarcity vibe of others).

However today I was watching the lain series and I
noticed myself feeling that urge to have power like
lain does. I asked myself, I checked into myself,
“is this power based scarcity, on seeking attention and

The answer was no. This time it wasn’t based on lack.
It was just based on having more power. Based on
abundance. On just having more freedom. Being a more
free being simply for my sake.

So I still continue to be passionate about beauty
and power.

And If I decided to compete in something like smash bros
or tae kwon do, it will be from a point of abundance.
In abundance, a competition isn’t to decide who wins and who
loses. It is to share skills with each other, exchange
information. Like captain falcon says, “show me your moves!”.
It’s just show and tell, there is no battle. It’s just
a game. Also it’s almost like a celebration of the strength
of two beings. They are both awesome so no matter who “wins” the
match, they both are already winners in the sense that they are
awesome, they just receive feedback on what skills and training is
best so they can improve even more.

When I think about venturing out to see something beautiful
irl or in a video game, I often feel inspired to do so.

This inspiration is often short lived as memories pop up of
previous times when I ventured out to have such an experience.

I would go out and think, yeah this is what life is about.
Then…Someone would come along and make me feel like I was
lacking in some way, or ignore or down play my expression
of love for the experience. This made me feel… basically
like I wasn’t good enough to be where I was.

Basically like if you drive a super nice car and enjoy it. Then
someone comes along and says, it’s not even yours.

Someone downplaying the significance of you being happy.
It can sometimes make someone feel that they are lacking. Like
they aren’t powerful enough to be worthy of enjoying themselves.

Or like they are down playing the significance, the goodness of
me simply enjoying myself. Like it’s not important that I
enjoy myself.

There was so much favoritism back when I was in daycare and elementary
school, I often had my curiosity, enjoyment, and awe, subbed in
favor of someone else. Someone the guardians felt was more
important. So it was more important that that person enjoy
themselves, than me.

Unless I did something to become important.

Check this out. You find a really cool and beautiful place and
go there to hang out. Then you tell your friends about it and they
just say, oh that place, I’ve been there. Oh ok I guess it’s not
that important that I experienced then? No of course it still is,
obviously though, not to those guys.
Then what if one of them says, oh I was actually the first one to
discover the place, I showed everyone else.
Wow, then it’s like, the energy is taken from you and given to him
for he found it, almost like he invented it, like he owns it.
His pseudo ownership gives him all the significance of that
place in the eyes of others.
It almost becomes a part of his identity in the eyes of others.
But not part of yours(not that it mattered), and it becomes
completely insignificant that you experienced the place because
you don’t own it.
Realize that it doesn’t matter how many people have done something
before you, it is still significant that you do it, even if it
is somehow not significant to them that you enjoy yourself
(maybe they are not that cool).

Now I’m older I get it. They were in that scarcity mindset and
the whole system is based on scarcity and war. Well it’s up to
me to decide how important my enjoyment is.

And how important power is.

I live to enjoy, power is only important as it helps me enjoy.

Or I would be hanging out with some people and a song I love comes
on. Someone says, that’s so and so’s song. Well what about me.
I love the song, is that not important. That seems to be the jist
of it.

So someone else suddenly semi-owns the song and it becomes
significant to them and not me. As far as anyone else around me
at the time felt. Kinda makes me feel lousy.

well the 1st time I thought to play eve online I still have the
need for high self esteem. SO I thought about playing the game from
both views, love, and power. For this reason, I was presented with
the lack I would have going into the game, at least from the view
of the other players. I would go into the game being nothing
special. There might even be player constructed rules about
where I can go or who owns what. This would suck for self-esteem
if I wanted to play the game like it was where I belonged and
own my experience.

However I think a lot of this stemmed from the ego. Wanting to play
in a beautiful world as a significantly beautiful person in that world.
That is met be the resistance of all the other players who do not see
you as significant, and probably as lacking.

Either that or I just though about the possibility of having to share
the beautiful experience with someone who doesn’t like me and/or
has a bad attitude in general. Then not only could I be made to feel
lacking, they could just ruin the whole experience for me.
I think part of me wanted to make a rule that you had to be good to a
certain extend, maybe whatever it took so that I would respect the
person, I guess that would include them being a good person. Then
I would feel ok sharing something so beautiful with that person.
Cause in Eve online I wouldn’t be able to chose who will be in the
environment including who controls it. At least not when I first start
playing. So I set a standard of self worth needed to feel worthy of
the environment. I did this for other places too, not just(if even)
even online.
Any beautiful environment, I would look at it and say, one say, when
I am the shit, I can hang out here and no one can tell me shit.
I don’t have to own it, just be the shit so I can’t be made to feel
badly in any way.

Anyways, now I am done worrying about what others will think/do as
I set out to experience the beauty in life. I don’t need to earn
the right to experience beauty. No one does. If someone wants to
fight me over some small scrap of it they can have it, there is an
abundance, more than enough for all, including that yet to be created
but I don’t have to have created something to rightfully enjoy it.
It is significant just that I enjoy it. Significant to me. If me going
down this path helps others then it is significant for them too but
that is not very important, to me.

However, If I go into the game just to enjoy myself, and value my enjoyment
for itself and ignore any expressions of lack/insignificance of
someone else, I would thoroughly enjoy myself.

Not trying to be something “special” because I don’t need to, because
the world doesn’t need it, because there is no lack. If I am anything,
it will be a creator of what I want. I only have to be “special” as far as
it helps me do that.

If what I want includes helping or helps others, lucky for them.

There is no lack or insignificance in my enjoyment.

The worst thing for a child’s self esteem is being raised
by an adult who makes the child feel responsible for the
adults happiness or society’s happiness, in anyway.

This is what gives the child a sense of self lack.

If the child was aloud to live by what they themselves wanted,
they would be able to focus on what makes them happy, including
what ever skills they need to learn.

Not only do parents and guardians make the child feel like they
have an inherit lack needing to be filled. They can make the child feel
like it’s whats best for the child that they feel that lack until(and often
even after) they achieve whatever goal it is that they are made to feel
is valuable.

Then the child grows up thinking that whatever society holds as
valuable must be what is right for them, and if they don’t have
it, they are lacking.

A good portion of my successes in life have come from me just
doing what I wanted.

I would even go as far as to say it’s cool to want to be someone
special, but it should be in a way that you love, not in
a way that others will love.

If you base your goals for self improvement on what others think
is important instead of you, you will be working out of a sense of lack.

That is because for someone else to have a need for you to be something
is for them to not be taking responsibility for themselves, which leads
to lack because they remove the only power in their lives, themselves,
out of the equation. They expect you to give them what they need.
that is lack. Expecting someone else to provide for you, that is, not
believing and seeing that you can provide for yourself.

Once you decide not to believe in other peoples standards of who you
are, and once you decide that you can provide abundantly for yourself, you
don’t feel lack.

Then if you want to be more, it should be because you feel it’s cool, not
to please anyone else. Your job is not to please anyone else, regardless
of if they express a sense of lack in you by not giving attention. You
are not lacking. Therefore never work out of a sense of lack. Only work
towards what you want. What you think is cool.

Should you need to be better than anyone else? If you want, but then
you shouldn’t feel lack for not being better than them, you should
only feel excitement at the possibilities of improving beyond them.

Also, you should not see lack in anyone else, because if you are in
abundance, you know that they also have abundance. If they are
surviving, if they are alive, they re abundant, and can figure out
how to be happy or better, ect. Even if they suck at everything in
life, they are still not lacking. They just aren’t because there just
is not lack. There isn’t shit to run away from. There is shit to run towards.

You see it, so you know it’s there. If they see you running towards it,
hopefully they will too. However, even if they don’t.. there is just no
looking down on others or even feeling sorry for them because you don’t see
lack, you see them taking responsibility for themselves in some way. Even if
it’s in a sucky way. Life lives.

so there can be competition, but not being the best or even better
than someone who sucks, shouldn’t mean lack.
There can be striving to improve, but where you are now shouldn’t be

You work towards what you want in life, and if other people like it
that’s great, but if they don’t, that shouldn’t mean lack.
Also, when looking at and judging others therefore, seeing them
suck at one or all things in life, also shouldn’t mean lack.

So I work towards more things I want,
More of who I want to be,
out of my own personal love, not at all for the recognition of
anyone else.
Al the while loving who I am and the things I have.
All the while seeing only abundance in others as it relates to them,
not at all judging people based on how they can help me.
Loving people who I connect with and who I can share my loves with.
That is about their love and my love coming together. No Lack,
no needing to be impressed.

SO the focus on abundance kind of needs ignoring lack to be
fully embraced it seems. Or no, it just helps the understanding
of what abundance is and the areas I need it.

SO all that idolizing and seeking fame is not important. It’s
like an expression of scarcity.

For one person to be famous means everyone else becomes less worthy
of attention. It means, no one else can do it but them so worship.
To seek fame, attention, means you feel lacking if you don’t have it.

Abundance is, I can make myself happy, and it’s my responsibility,
I’ll do it, and I’ll do it for me.

With the economy the way it is people are really feeling the stress, the need, to have a secure job and to be making money. This need, especially in the minds of young graduates who can live comfortably at home with parents, may be over emphasized, and exaggerated. I do some experiments on personal motivation using Steve pavlina’s description of polarity as a guide. I definitely feel I learned a hard lesson. I took some of what he said the wrong way and chose a polarity that was not at all right for me. I care about people, but the stress of unemployment actually scared me into choosing the dark self serving polarity. It hasn’t worked out well and I know now its because the dark polarity is only really for those people who have had hard lives and are willing to see themselves as superior beings to everyone else and see themselves as the center of the universe. I was never willing to do that and so I think I was already pretty far on the Light polarity when I decided it was time to try the dark side(what I thought was the dark side) which was working for yourself trying to get ahead(not competitively which would be closer to the dark side, but just passively working mostly for myself). All this did was put my energy in flux and it started affecting all areas of my life in a negative way. The Dark side is not for me.
The next thing to consider is the opposite polarity, the light side. Which is about service to others, to the greater good. This seems more for me, it seems more for anyone actually because if everyone lived this way the world would be a very happy place. As opposed to if everyone was in competition with each other or only out for themselves. If everyone was light side you would be receiving help from everyone. If everyone was Dark side you would be fighting the resistance of everyone.
Thing to note, the light side requires helping oneself as well to ensure ones own survival. Also the dark side requires helping others to ensure ones on survival.

The thing is the light side is motivated by love, which is a positive emotion and so is medically a healthy thing to have. Meanwhile the dark side is motivated by fear which is a negative emotion and medically unhealthy. I guess Steve Pavlina thinks a person who needs to turn to the dark side to survive like maybe in jail or war or in the ghetto or something should just do it and come out alive. Otherwise I see no reason why anyone would choose such an unhealthy way of life. Still not sure I agree with it even then.
The light side is about love, and I think it could be seen as more than just loving others and living to serve. I think its loving yourself and others, as opposed to the dark side fearingĀ  others and maybe ones self as well like with shame.

So I think its a lot like what Jesus said about loving your neighbor as you love yourself, this suggests that you do love yourself.

So the light side seems a lot better when seen that way. It seems a lot like “defeating Kolrami”, his other article. Here Steve suggests aiming for a tie instead of a win. So it’s noncompetitive. Does that mean not trying to win. No, it means trying to make it so everyone wins. Basically you realize the abundance in your life, and you realize everyone can win instead of just one person. So you don’t need to worry about being all for yourself because there is so much to go around that everyone can get their fill. So if someone lives in a situation where that is the truth, say in a country where there is free internet. Access to more knowledge than a human could ever need. A person in that situation should be thinking in terms of abundance because they actually do have it. Even in a situation where some one has less, they could still make “stone soup”( a story from the bible where Jesus taught poor people to improvise with what they had to feed not only themselves but guests when they thought they had nothing. Basically your richer than you think.
With the frame of mind that you live in abundance, while you still need to live smart, you can focus on making a life instead of a living. You can focus on playing with others instead of against them or by yourself. Living this way, Defeating Kolrami, will allow an unemployed person to live the life of their dreams, doing amazing and exciting things with friends and family, and achieve all their dreams.

Living life this way, with the knowledge, the realization of abundance, will allow someone to work with others not caring who gets the credit, or go out to a club and cheer friends on to pick up a hot girl or guy without feeling like its a personal loss. Living like that and you will gain so much more, for yourself and for everyone else throughout the whole journey and everyone reaches the top and it is sustainable. So stop worry about getting rich first. Realize you are rich already, be smart with the money you have or get of course but realize your rich already and can do what you love. Then do what you love, all the things you love, which I’m sure include things with others. You keep doing that, and of course the money will follow and you can invest it and whatever, but don’t let that be the goal because then your not really doing what you love and because the money I think we will find, is really overrated.

I am of the opinion now that it is a sin for any human being to not take full 100% responsibility for themselves from the moment they are born. *** Woah wait a second, from the moment they are born? What can a baby do to take responsibility for its self from the moment they are born? They can’t do anything for them selves, who will feed it? *** I said 100% responsibility not 100% result. The baby cannot go out and by a milk carton to feed itself. However, are you going to put it on I.V. on drip, or will you let it cry for milk it’s self. Naturally a baby takes 100% responsibility, if you believe in God you might say this is how God intended. Even an unconscious human being reacts to tissue damage with 100% accountability forming blood clots and scar tissue.

With human being of modern times however, a lot of people are not taking that 100% responsibility for themselves, doing everything they can for themselves. There are a few observed ways I can think of that allow for or create people that do not take responsibility for themselves but it seems to often come down to fear.

When someone fears the result of someone else doing something wrong, they would rather do that thing themselves. This isn’t good when it is a parent doing something for the child that the child could do for it’s self. When a child is old enough to do chores the child should or else he will have a harder time transitioning to doing so later. Kids should be 100% self responsible with parents there only as aids, to answer questions, warn children of hazards and teaching the children techniques to become even more self reliant.

Even adults are beingĀ  subjected to this tyranny of leadership in the form of welfare and managers at work paying rip-off wadges that leaves people feeling unmotivated and even more willing to do the minimum instead of working from the mindset of 100% responsibility where they would be doing the ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM. A manager who takes full responsibility themselves supporting a bunch of adults who don’t take full responsibility for themselves in my opinion is oppression of growth and therefore of life. I never want to be a manager because I don’t believe other humans need to be lead like that. It may be helpful in large companies to have a designated organizer just for communications between departments, but in each department I think the employees should be made up of individuals who take 100% responsibility for themselves and can organize themselves through communication as well. Mentors as I’ve said, are helpful to learn from, not to depend on for any longer than necessary. We live in abundance, life flourishes on earth, we can survive and thrive on our own ability to learn.

negative impact of the tyranny of leadership

BULLYING – a bully is often someone who chooses to keep others down instead of taking responsibility for themselves and developing as human beings.

Ignorance – with one person doing everything for another, that other never learns how to do those things.

Dependance -> less competent Human beings -> less work done in the word -> Leaders will have a lot more work to do for a lot less reward than would otherwise be out there.

Poverty, Low self-esteem, low ability, lower life expectancy, ect ect.

The Tyranny of leadership, of always having someone want to tell other what to do, and someone wanting to be told what to do, is that is completely stunts the personal growth of the dependent, the follower, and possible the leader in a way who never learns how to teach, and to believe in others ability to learn.

The long term Leader-Follower relationship is a fear based relationship, and as I might have said already in a previous post, fear is an enemy of modern civilization. Applying fear where knowledge should and could be, is a recipe for oppression.

Life began with 100% responsibility. It Flourished with 100% responsibility. That is the way of life. The way of death is the opposite. It is people being led like sheep, never growing or improving. The way of life on earth is that it is either flourishing or decaying. There is no in between.

I could have gone into more detail in many areas but the post would have been very long that way. I hope anyone reading this will take a minute to comment on a point they agree or disagree with so we can have a discussion. Thanks.

Things that everyone deserves to know.


Main concept is everyone is connected and we need each other to improve our lives. No one is the super hero who can be awesome all by himself, you try to be awesome by yourself and you are screwed. You did’nt give birth to yourself so you will never have all the credit.


Rule: Knowledge is power. Smart is just a base of knowledge that you can use to build more knowledge on top of. Knowledge is so important. Acquiring knowledge on how to live, on what does what. Learn how to read. Knowledge is what keeps you from dying everyday. Knowledge is the safe way to learn that a car can kill you. Experience is the hard way.


And once you have concepts in your head its good to play around with them and figure new things out. Think Critically. Think imaginatively. Do your very best to figure out what is right and what is wrong, and how to live. Read.


Rule: Love yourself, don’t think of this as loving your faults and and strengths, don’t see yourself as having faults and having to love yourself in spite of those. just see yourself as having strengths and weaknesses that you can work on. Nothing you have to force yourself to love.


Almost everyone needs confirmation from other people on if they are lovable or not. However if you keep in mind that everything is connected, loving youself is the best thing you can do for anyone else. When you love yourself you become able to live to your full potential because you are able to focus on achiving your goals because you want them not because someone else tells you you should want them to be lovable.

When you love yourself completely, you will be happy enough to extend that love to others.

When you hate yourself its hard to love anyone else and if you can’t love anyone else, it’s harder for people to love you.

If everyone loved themselves and cast out shame as the virus it is, we would be much better off.