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Monthly Archives: January 2013

As I finished work and put on my nice clothing it came to me. A
previous idea but making even more sense now. Life needs to be fun.
If you life is fun, if you play your life, you are actually in a
constant state of win. My goal had become work hard so that one
day you can have the perfect life free of any negativity.

This goal however, although I might not have wanted to admit it
at first, was one of scarcity. At first I thought, well I have an
abundant goal and as long as I can work towards it with abundance
I will have abundance. However the thing that I was missing was
that I was trying to gain abundance but I wasn’t in a state of
abundance. I was in a state of scarcity.
I was from scarcity, trying to grasp at abundance, and it was like
trying to grab water.

When I thought of embodying my goals, I thought back to embodying
what I wanted. I want joy love and health. (some others are
meaningful goal(s) and hope)
How do you embody love? First love yourself then let it radiate
out.
How do you embody health? Be healthy in all ways.
How do you have joy? Enjoy life, make it fun, treat it like
a game.

The I realized, hey that’s it! Embody a person who has fun with
life. Like a game. Then I put these things together.

If I was treating life like a game, like something done for the
fun of it, it wouldn’t matter to much if someone was sabotaging me,
because I would still be having fun. Now wouldn’t that mean I
wouldn’t reach my goals? Well if my goal was love joy and health,
I have met those goals simply by choosing to embody that sense of
play. If I’m having fun, I’m joyful, healthy and loving.
So that is why it is important to embody your goals, and also
why it is important to be abundant not to try to catch it.
Trying to catch abundance is a lot like a dog trying to catch
it’s own tail. The abundance is apart of you, so if you try to
capture it, you capture and arrest yourself and the abundance
can’t flow from within. Let it flow.

A good game, is a joy to play, win or lose. Make your life a
good game by engaging your natural human ability to create
fun. Your natural ability to create games within your life.
to do this though, you have to let go of the things that keep
you from playing. What is keeping you from playing. Let’s say
you want a car. In scarcity you want a car because you
think you need a house to finally be happy. Why are you taking
the goal so seriously. Why do you choose to place so much value
on the car. All those “needs” that you have are what keeps you
from playing. You can play when there is something that “needs”
to be done. “needs” come first in scarcity. can you feel good
about yourself as a person or do you “need” the 100K job first.
You can’t be happy while you have “need” so get rid of any
unnecessary “need”. You are already awesome. It’s when you stop
loving yourself that you become less awesome. Don’t feel you “need”
to achieve something to be awesome. Being awesome comes first, then
everything else.

Now the question, with this default level of abundance, would
you be able to get more of it or would you end up being to
satisfied with what you have and just stagnate. My answer is
abundance is good but more abundance is even better so why would
anyone pass it up unless they were lethargic and therefore
unhealthy? You might decide you don’t need 100 grand a year
cause it isn’t bringing you any more happiness than you
already have. Then you will probably switch to doing something that
will bring more abundance into your life.

Think about it, you can get 100% on every level of Yoshi’s
island and still see it as a game. Just cause you are playing
doesn’t mean you are doing sub-par performance. There is such
thing as “playing hard”, and you can play hard and still have
fun.

Now about sabotage. Would you be more susceptible to sabotage
if you were focused on having fun. I would say less first of
all because as long as you are scared of someone sabotaging you,
they are already doing it to you just by you being scared.
Second, you can still get 100% on every level, you just do it for
“more abundance”. You can still prevent someone from screwing you
over in a state of play. In-fact it would be interesting to see if
maybe a state of play would make you better at preventing
shit like that. It’s like the Steve Pavlina saying,
the scarcity minded become more frustrated and the abundance
minded become more amused.

Plus,

in a state of play, good people will be attracted to you because
you have that abundance to offer them. If you want to look at it as
a battle, you would be gaining allies left right and center.
However, if you are looking at this as a battle you are in a state
of scarcity and you wont get those allies. When you enter the
state of abundance, you gain teammates, friends, party members.
Allies are something a scarcity minded person would be begging for.

So, curve-ball, what if someone attacks you on the street?
Then you life is in danger so if you want to live you’ll do
want you need to do to survive. When your life, or the life of
someone you love is in danger, that is when you take a break
from playing to survive. However, if you’re life is not in
danger and you are in survival mode anyway, in the mode of need,
that is scarcity.

Now an observation. A child who has not been corrupted by
the negativity of others or an environmental tragedy will be
very playful. This seems therefore to be the natural state of a
healthy human being.

So to be in the state of abundance you kinda have to let go of
“any superficial needs” and enjoy your life. It’s so simple,
just enjoy life in the best way possible which is as a kid does.
(well I think this is the best way but there could be others that
fit the equation). This is also related to Steve Pavlina’s
level 2 gratitude because you are grateful for life because you
turn elements of it into a game that you are happy to play.
This letting go of “need” and engaging your innate abundance is
the real key. If you are to have any more abundance, you have to
be willing to accept this first level of it. You have to be willing
to only have your innate sense of fun and nothing else. If you
have discovered it and realize it’s value and can see it as
more valuable than any house or car or girlfriend, then you can
play for more.

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If your focus is on the goal, there will be this nagging feeling of the need to complete the goal.

If your focus is on the journey and you simply picked the destination ahead of time, you may be able to make the journey enjoyable, even slowing the pace down to make it more enjoyable.

If you focus on every moment as a separate opportunity for achievement then I think it’s kinda like mixing the journey and the destination into one.

Say your goal is to save the world. You could look at your life as working towards the final goal of saving the world at which point you can celebrate.

Or you could look at the journey to the goal of saving the world as something you can make into a game or make it enjoyable in some way to “enjoy the journey” which still has it’s place I think.

Or, you could look at your everyday life, everything you do as being part of what is saving the world. So your goal isn’t “to save the world” in this case. rather your goal is “saving the world”. So the life you lead is the goal in this case and therefore you are at any point in time in a sate of achievement.

This I think is part of why I like learning a language by immersion. You are in a constant state of winning because the lifestyle is the thing you want. The lifestyle of learning your chosen language.

I watched a lot of Dragon Ball Z as a kid and watching Vegita train under 400x earth gravity was so inspiring. His goal really didn’t matter at that point. Just the intensity of that scene, the power that was displayed, made me admire his training. I wanted that lifestyle simply because of the awesome otherworldly power, the unbreakable spirit that the lifestyle expressed.

So to analyze my motivation, it was power which as a young boy I was obsessed with, but more than that, it was being powerful. Like being powerful was the goal, not getting powerful. That’s the difference because as a kid I could mimic what being powerful would be like and it was powerful. It was as powerful as I could be at the time which was more powerful than if I wasn’t trying to be powerful in that way. Also I knew that by mimicking power in that way I would gain more of it. That is a winning strategy, It feels good at all times.

So I would workout in the living room while dragon ball z was on. So let’s take the goal of saving the world again. What is more motivating, the goal of saving the world, or just being someone who is actively saving it. Either goal requires actively saving it but being the constant savior would probably feel better if you are into that type of thing. Like if the goal is most meaningful to you, then having the goal in a constant state of achievement would probably be better than waiting till it happens.

This might only work for certain goals tho. The goal has to be one that you can embody as a person. You can be powerful, you can be a savior, you can be Japanese person. But could you and would you strive to be a new car owner? Would you care to embody the personal of a man returned the eggs to the store? So the goal has to be a more high order thing. The Savior may return eggs to the store because it is part of his quest. The Japanese-Yakuza-Samurai-Ninja might buy a new car if that is what one of those would do or wanted to do for some reason.

So the goal you embody should be the most meaningful thing in your life.

Another plus of doing this is that it is harder for someone to come along and ruin your day. If your goal is to be the/a savior then you can just be one, but if you goal is to save the world, as long as someone is preventing you from doing that you are losing. However if you can stay positive and control your emotions you can still see your goal as being reached and see any setbacks as necessary. Which once they’ve happened they are proven necessary by virtue of them happening, otherwise they wouldn’t have happened. That is the metaphysical way to look at it which I think makes sense.

If you embody your goals however, your are the goal no matter what. If your embody the goal of saving the world and become a savior, no matter what happens to you you are still a savior as long as to the best of your abilities you life a savior like lifestyle. Even if you are in a wheelchair or a coma, if you are a savior then that is what you are. If you embody the goal of a 6ft4 person, maybe you will find a surgeon to cut and heal your bones longer until your that height lol, or you will realize that what you really want is the presence or power that the height represents for you and embody that.

As a (supposed) INTP I think I am prone to be interested
a certain goal but after a time I will lose the motivation.
I will lose interest as I become able to see how everything
will pan out and become accustome to the learning curve.

However, there are goals I’ve had that I have had for maybe a
day or two and gotten tired of. Then there are goals I have had
off and on for my entire life. Learning Chinese is a goal I have
had for my entire life. Well since grade two when I first met
Chinese students my age and begged them to teach me how to
write cool Hanzi.

This past summer I spent a month learning the hanzi at a pace
of 50per day using a psuedo RTH method that was harder than the
real thing. I burned out and have’nt had as much motivation
as that since. At it’s peak I was studying for 4-5 hours a day
in the summer in my bed room and it was hot even with the fan
on and the window open and the AC that does’nt properly
circulate to my room cause my room is perpendicular.

Recently I decided I would attemp to learn the Hanzi at a pace of
5 sentences per day. Reading the sentences and hoping to learn
how to recognize the hanzi from that. I have had success and
am able to read verbally in mandarin and understand about
150 sentences so far. 5/day for 30 days.
During this period thought I had changes of priorety in my life
which led me to be undable to stick to the routine of doing the
hanzi first thing in the morning simply because I had something
of glaring importance to look up on the net.

This planted a small seed of distaste of my everyday reviews
because most days I would have to delay that rush of surfing
the net to answer my life questions, in favour of the hanzi.

The total time on the hanzi shoul dhave only been 15min/day but
because of my slow as computer and indeciciveness in sentence
mining that time grew to around 30min+/day.

This extended time + the urge I’ve had to fight against was I
think a main factor in me losing yet even more steam. This is
because when in order to do one thing, you are forced to deny
yourself somthing else, it creates a bit of maybe resentment.
That might not be the exact word but close enough, it’s an
emotion of distaste that lingers and compounds for everyday
you are put through it.

I will note that somthing as small as denying surfing the net
would not have caused that resentment if I had chose to prioretize
it lower in my prioreties. However it was one of the top things
recently and that was where the problem came. The higher the
priorety you give up for something else, the greater the chance of
resentment.

In fact, the lady Marissa mayer, of google, says it’s only the
thing that is highest on you prioreties that becomes the thing
you must not give up. It is possible that this past month, surfing
the interenet for information became the highest for me. Infact
I think it had.

Next, the reason I want to write my reason for learning Chinese
is that I do find I lose focus of that reason as I lose interest.
I notice that sometimes when I think of studying Chinese
my mental thought process is, “it’s so predictable now, I simply
keep learning 10/day and in under a year I’ll learn 3000 hanzi.”
This predictablity leads me to think, “wow, if it’s so easy is it
really a goal worth acheiving?” cause the feeling I’ll get is like
the language has lost it’s mystique. It’s like I’ve already learned
it.

However, when I hear Chinese people talking, or see Chinese writing,
all I can think is, I should be able to do that. I’v been learning
of and on for almost 2 years. I could be able to do that already.
I wish I could be talking with them or reading that writing and
just being apart of that environment. I wish I could interact with
the Chinese environment.

In other words, I start to feel like I’ve already conquored the
languge way before I actually have simply because I’ve figured
out a really efficient path to getting there. This is a bit
demotivating because I feel like I’ve achieved the goal. However
I have’nt achieved the goal and this becomes apparent when I
am faced with the irl language I am faced with the truth of
my progress.

So what is happening is along the way, my reason for studying
changes from being able to use it, to knowing how to learn it.
A pseudo goal that I adopted in order to find the most efficient
path to goal achievement. Then I figure out how to learn it, test
my theory for a few months and when I see progress I have reached
the psuedo goal and get bored and want to quit. Then I quit and
some time down the road the real goal smacks me in the face again
when I bump into Chinese people speaking Chinese.

So here are the three major causes of motivational issues
that I have observed in myself and described here:

1) Underestimation of time I will spend (not as huge a deal)

2) Changes of priorety that result in a newly first priorety
being delayed for a previous first priorety that is routine.

3) Change of goal

Know that I have these understandings, here is my solution:

Chinese does’nt have to be the highest priorety but it has to
be the highest pleasure priorety. Meaning it has to be the
highest priorety out of the things I do for the pleasure of them.
I can still apply for jobs or study because I have no urge to
do those things and so delaying them wont be painful or cause
resentment. This means actively changing my prioreties by
swearing off anything of higher priorety, not for ever but until
maybe I finish RTH. Swearing off something in my opinion is the
easiest way to reduce the urge for it, as long as it is’nt health
related which includes social interaction. Marissa Mayer’s
examples of the one thing people just had to do were usually
health related like yoga, sleeping 8 hrs, or time with family.
This is a good way to prioretize because these are things that you
need for health but that you usually would’nt have a compulsion
or urge towards. Surfing the net, videogames, things like these
that can become compulsions are the worst thing to put at first
priorety because with a compulsion you will need it almost
constantly, basically an addiction, and denying yourself
an addiction for something else, will bread resentment for that
something else soooo fast. Cause it’s painful.

You gotta let go of the compulsion first though, it has to be a
willing and complete letting go, like, I’m letting this
go for 4 months. It can’t be, “I’ll only work on the compulsion
when I’m not studying”. The compulsion by it’s very nature is an
something you want to do right now, so you have to give it up
completely before you can even think about giving something
else priorety even if the other thing is only a 10min a day thing.

Second is to autonomously go about the goal of learning Chinese
with the knowledge that it is’nt truely enough to just know
how to get it. I need to actually get it to feel the true joy
I was origionally motivated by. I remember in the summer the
reason why I stopped was’nt really because I could’nt do it
anymore. I had it ingrained as a habit and I cut out anything
else that could become a distraction or a compulsion and
derail my motivation. However my motivation stil derailed because
of the feeling of achieving that pseudo goal. Then I was just
sloggin away with no emotion and actually it was stressful because
I was so afraid of this impending lose of motivation. That
plus the fact I had’nt been working out as regularily caused
a bit of insomnia. So in fear of that grey area I was in where I
had no desire to learn the language anymore made me decide to
quit in hopes that atleast that desire would return so I could
start again later at a slower pace.

Now I know that the lose of desire may come but that it
does’nt really mean I wont enjoy the language once I learn it.
It means I’ve forgotten the origional goal. See I know the
origional goal right now but even now I still don’t really
feel as much desire. I have a bit of desire cause of the rude
awakening of the difference between someone who knows Chinese and
someone who only knows how to know Chinese. I am going to slog
through RTH anyways because I am confident that once I learn
enough of the language that I can use it, it will be amazing
to enter that new world. Also I guess I just don’t want to spend
any more time thinking ” I could know Chinese by now I just have’nt
done it”. I want to have something to show for all my hard work.
That seems like a more negative motivation but it’s basically
learning from a mistake and the goal and the method are all
positive things so it should be fine.

Right before I wrote this I read :

http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_magazine/previous_issues/articles/2011_09_16/caredit.a1100094

http://smallbusiness.foxbusiness.com/legal-hr/2012/08/08/likeonomics-reveals-why-nice-guys-dont-have-to-finnish-last/

and earlier I read a lot of other stuff too…let’s begin.

When it comes to living as a human being, being social is a huge part. It was huge when we first started out, and it continues to be huge now. Especially with the way our economy is right now, being social is extremely important. Not being social though, being liked. If you want a promotion, a job, and even self-employment, you need people to like you to be successful. This post will mostly deal with how introverts can become more likable because extrovert already have a natural advantage because they are naturally more social and talkative which people associate with trustworthiness for better or worse.

Now the obvious way most people would think of for an introvert to become more likable is that if extroverts are more likable then introverts should act like extroverts. However I really don’t think that’s the best idea. I think life works best when everyone in honest instead of pretending. My task therefore is to find a way for introverts to be as likable as extroverts without sacrificing morals and authentic selves.

So to figure out how to do this we need to know what likeability is. Basically it being easy to like. So how is that done. Well for someone to like you, you have to be good for them as a person and they have to be able to relate to you. There may be other things but these are main ones. It’s easy for anyone, introvert or extrovert to relate to an extrovert because an extrovert will show their emotions. An introvert doesn’t do this as much so it’s harder to get to know them. The remedy for this if you are interested is to express you emotions openly. Even just through speaking is fine. Also an extrovert will let out more of who they are in general like the things they like and don’t like. You don’t have to be super high energy, but just speak whats on your mind and people will relate to you more. If you are curious about something or someone, ask the questions you want to ask. People love talking about themselves, and they would love to know what your authentic interests in them are.

Relationships are based on trust. That is pretty common knowledge how ever the important thing I learned from the article on “likeonomics” is that likability is also based on trust. Apparently Steve Jobs was a brutally honest person and people loved him. Like a cult. So, don’t tell a fat person, “oh your so fat!” or anything like that, but just be authentic, I think is the best thing. It’s something extroverts do naturally but it’s not something introverts have to fake. It’s actually more like, we are faking that we aren’t relate-able because we don’t share much of ourselves. Of course we aren’t actively faking it, but we have the power to show that we are relate-able and we often just chose not too.

Unless someone finds a good reason why introverts are better off not being more authentic while extroverts are ok to do so I would say introverts should be more authentic.

If you can let people know more who you are, instead of leaving so much to the imagination, you will become more likeable. Obviously tact is good when you are speaking your mind, as well as humor(self deprecating, and other) and those are all skill you can learn without being fake. Also people often say a good conversationalist matches the energy level of the person they are speaking with. I’m not sure this is always a must. However if you are in a situation where you don’t want to offend an extrovert, you at least  have to have match they’re level of interest in having a conversation. I have pissed off a lot of people simply because I wasn’t interested in talking with them at the time(other things on my mind) and I didn’t think I should be fake and pretend to care about the conversation. After a few negative experiences I am realizing that it’s the same way people don’t burp or scratch their crotch in public, to not offend anyone. In this circumstance it is not seen as fake, it is seen as compassionate, and I understand that. So if someone wants to talk with me it’s polite to respond with eye contact, body language and matched energy(where it makes sense). However if you can some how be authentic instead like of matching energy it could work better, just use tact.

Ah I just thought of another great study. There was a study saying that if two strangers meet and one makes a racists comment about a race that neither belong to, more rapport is built than if neither had spoke. This is on average. This is not to say that most people are racists, at least I don’t think. I think this means that people are drawn to authenticity. The racists person was obviously honest if he was willing to be racists. oh, oh, and also, back to the idea of giving and mutually beneficial arrangements, the racists gave to the other, he put himself in a vulnerable position. He put himself in a position where the other man was left with the choice to keep his secret(mutual benefit) or betray him. When this happens, you have a GIFT EXCHANGE!!! So there is a third gift. The gift of authenticity. I’m so happy I figured this out. This is yet another way in which giving is good in this universe. Give and you shall receive. Also this is also underlines the importance of working to become in harmony with the universe. When in harmony, your authentic self will be good enough to be likeable. Otherwise you’ll be either forced to change, or lie which just get’s harder and harder to keep up with.

So now lets say an introvert who has passion for basket weaving, wants to make real money to support himself. He has to network if he wants a good paying job or business. So how should he do it? he key points to keep in mind are abundance, positive attitude, authenticity, love, maybe some others. I want to describe the bad way and then the good way after.

Bad way:
He goes to a networking event. He greets his first potential connection. His mindset is, I need(scarcity) this guy so that I can make money. I can’t act like an extrovert that’s too fake, but I gotta get him to like me. Well I can tell him about my credentials. Gotta pretend I’m not desperate even though I am. “hey man you ok, your sweating”, “huh no ya I’m fine….uh yeah so I went to school, to school for… for…” “so maybe we can do business ey? ey?, wann exchange email and maybe help each other out, then we can both win. We cAn BoTh WiN!!” “I’m very interested in learning more about stocks because stocks are very interesting to me, I hope we can get together again and talk about stocks.”(not authentic at all, unless you really love the concept of stocks)

Good way:

He goes to a networking event. He greets his first potential connection. His mindset is, I’ve got this networking event, then I got another(abundance) one tomorrow, then one(abundance) next week. I’ll meet lots of people, let them know what I(authenticity) want, and why I(authenticity) want it. Whoever out of those people can relate to me, and I to them, we can go from there. The I’ll see what their skills are and tell them mine, but whoever I like and who likes me, we should find a way to help each other. So for this first guy…(I’m looking for connections so I can make more money and live better, you down for that?)

So obviously the with the good way he will be coming in to the event with a winning attitude, abundance mindset, and authenticity. He has no reason to be desperate because he knows to not put all his eggs in one basket. Also He becomes valuable simply because he knows that once he meets people and gets connected, he can start to make things happen. So his value is that he knows he is valuable. It doesn’t even take long to realize that there is power in connections. If you didn’t know it before you should have picked it up from this article. The trick is knowing how much value you have just by having those connections. Really it’s the difference between scarcity and abundance. With abundance you realize that you are actually extremely valuable just by being able to communicate with other human beings and make connections.  Also he will meet people and they will like him because he is positive, valuable, and authentic. The authenticity takes practice for people who aren’t naturally comfortable with themselves or with money. You have to love yourself enough and know that you become more valuable as a human being if you can be authentic. You also have to be ok with wanting money, if you think it’s wrong to start a business “just for the money” then you need to realize what money really is. It’s thanks for your work to help society and your neighbor. Business, unless it’s wall street loop hole type or illegal or environmentally unfriendly, is all about improving our world. Getting money for it is just a way to make sure as many people are motivate to keep improving it and not just let it stagnate. (as far as I know about money anyway)

So if you can be a a good person (definitely important but it’s not something that has to be faked, just realize that the universe rewards giving, and good) If you can have a positive attitude, and abundance mindset, and an authentic way about you, you can make many connections. If you get all of what I’m saying here, then you are basically rich already. Knowledge is power.

So now, what is the real reason our economy sucks? Is it outsourcing, is it shadow government conspiracies, or is it lack of authenticity and lack of the mindset of abundance which keeps people from coming together to create more abundance.

I want to take a look at a scenario, a “case study”. Let’s say you have a early to mid twenties male(female would work the same) introvert who lives with his parents and is looking for a living wadge so he can move out. Let’s go a bit further and say that his parents are want him out, in…. two weeks to a month. So he needs a job or his face meets the streets in one month. Now the main concepts I would try to keep in mind in this situation are “positive attitude”, “abundance”, “work ethic(priorities)”, love, being true to one’s self, and maybe a few others I’ll see if they come up.

Where do you find the best jobs in such short notice. Starting a business is usually not an option because they take time to generate a living salary and are unstable for a time. For this reason I will go with general employment. There are jobs out there paying a good income that you don’t even need too much education to get, what your do need is a connection. You need to know someone who can get you in. How do you form such a connection if you don’t have one? Well a connection is a relationship with another human being. What is the relationship based on? Trust, mutual benefit, and like/love, acquaintance.  What the young man would have to do is meet someone who has the power to get him a good job, earn their trust, create a mutually beneficial arrangement and or earn their friendship. As well, all this needs to be done without the young man being “needy” and negative during the interaction. He needs to get help without begging for it which apparently is a huge turn-off.

The importance of giving, from a more universal perspective. We humans, need each other. We die without human touch for extended periods of time, we go mad in solitary confinement,we wouldn’t be born or give birth, without another human being. We are social creatures. We are dependent on each other. However this does not mean you need every single person around you. Actually depending on who you are, some of the people in your life could be doing more harm than good for to you and even to society. Being dependent on each other is a large generalization but it is still extremely significant. It may make more sense to just say we are dependent on “others”. What this means is that to help another human being, help in a positive way, is a good thing to do. If you help someone, you help that person, yourself, and everyone else. Because we are all dependent on others. Therefore although this young man may be desperate to find a job, should he focus on only his needs? Or the needs of others. Helping others is an intricate idea.

You could help someone and never be thanked, or you can help someone and they give you a million dollars. It is situational. There are certain situations you should look for when trying to help. It should help to take a look at the bigger picture. Where will you be the most help to society and the world? Giving a bum a dollar so he can buy who knows what isn’t a good use of your time or money and it’s not much help in the larger sense. Volunteering with a political council, or the UN, or environment services may be better. In these better ways of helping, the people you meet will respect you because they will see that what you are doing is actually helpful. That you are helpful to this world. Of course you should also believe in the help you re giving. Volunteer to work in the educational sector if you believe people deserve better education, if you can see that more education means a better society for you to live in as well as everyone else. That’s just an example. Giving is good if you give smart. If you give smart, in an area you actual want to give to out of love for that area, you will be staying true to yourself which is also important, and will make working for free less of an issue. Also there are ways to give where you don’t have to put out much like tipping someone off with information you heard or making music for people if you already like making music. Stuff like that is good to but for the purposes I will explain later, the giving I’m discussing is volunteer work. You just have to realize, if you want your future to be flying cars or utopia or anything awesome, you should be willing to work on those things for free as a volunteer, so don’t knock on volunteering.

So back to this young man. He needs connection(s), more than one would be best because not all of them will have positions waiting just for him even if they do like him. So this young man doesn’t want to seem desperate even though he only has a month. He wants to build relationships based on trust, mutual benefit, and possibly friendship. Here is the way that can be done. He should start volunteering for a few different organizations who’s work he believes in. Here he can get to know many people, gain cognitive-based trust(trust that he is capable and reliable), an he sets it up a relationship where the ball is in their court as for as making the relationship mutually beneficial. Work ethic(priority) comes in here because he needs to work really hard at each volunteer position to make himself look good. So if this young man is looking for work, and he has one month, let’s say he splits up his time into looking for work for 20% of his waking time, and Volunteering for 60% of his waking time, with 20% to travel, eat, bathroom, ect. At the end of the month he will have some good connections assuming he volunteered somewhere worth while. He might have made a friend or two but let’s say he’s a super introvert and didn’t make any. He still would have had many opportunities to help out others, especially since he would have created a network around 3 separate organizations. Crunch time, he needs a job. He explains his situation and see what anyone can do, or doesn’t explain to seem not desperate and asks what anyone can do anyways. He might might get something out of that. If he does he should take whatever job it is and continue volunteering with whatever extra time he has. BTW all the while he had been job hunting 20% of the time.

The big idea in this strategy is that no matter what situation this young man is in, he should try his best to be doing the things he would be doing anyways. The things that are best for him and for society. Meaning that first he needs to realize that work is good for society and good for him. At least, work he believes in, is. Then, he needs to go to work everyday whether he is getting paid or not, since he will be working towards what he believes in anyways. And “work a person believes in” I think is a very vast field. If you love video games, do you want to be a pro gamer, but how about helping make the games better? how about promoting the games so more people will play them? The person who likes video games probably likes the house he plays them in, why not help with real estate, urban planning, HVAC. There are so many ways to get involved, to contribute to society and to your own life, through volunteering, and you would be helping yourself out, and with tools you wouldn’t otherwise have at your disposal.

So even if this young man doesn’t end up with a job after a month of giving, of volunteering his time and energy, the time was not wasted. Here is why. If he worked really hard, he definitely made a contribution to society and his own life. A huge step up from if he was just playing video games the whole time. Next, after volunteering for that long at lets say 3 different organizations, and then he had to walk in and tell them all he is homeless now so he wont be able to dress as nice or work as hard without any financial support, If he was good enough and/or nice enough, someone at one of those places should be able to help him out. Let’s say that they don’t though just as a worst case thing. He could tell them, “I’ll be back when I get back on my feet”. Then he could go volunteer somewhere that will help take him in. A homeless shelter, someone who needs a live-in nanny or personal assistant. A random nice family. He can bring his work ethic, positive attitude and build trust with those people. If he focuses on giving no matter what his situation, he will eventually make the connections he needs. All he has to do is keep giving, oh and obviously he can’t be a jerk or anything like that, he has to see others as his lifeblood and work on them to help himself. Giving, asking nothing in return, bud if offered he should say he wants a job or place to stay. Person who focuses on giving in the best way possible has to come across someone who wants to see him do well also. I can’t imagine such a person ending up starving in an alley unless he purposely hides the giving he does which is stupid because people want to support the person who is supporting them cause if he dies then they lose his support.

This mindset of giving is really a form of abundance. You need to realize that the fact that there are other people who you can help out is a form of wealth that you have. You have other people working towards the survival of our species. You have the opportunity to help them / and yourself out. Further more, some of these people are already if high positions and can give you even more tools to help everyone out. You like nice cars, volunteer at a car factory, give them some designs for some even nicer cars. Help them automate the building process further to bring the price of cars down even more. Some volunteer jobs pay for you to travel with a group to other parts of the world to volunteer.  That’s paid travel and food. Wherever you chose to give, society wouldn’t let a person like that go hungry, and it sure beats sitting in front of the TV wishing you had a job. If they are willing to pay you from the start it’s a bonus, eventually though people should be fighting over who will hire you, offering very competitive wadges. All the while you have been wealthy from the start because you were working on something because you wanted to help improve it. That is realizing abundance. Realizing the opportunity you have right now to improve your world, and realizing your true value in society. A person who realizes this will can walk into a volunteer job interview or whatever with a grin because they are rich.

This post is really a formation of a positive way of looking at the job search. Obviously it’s more than just a way of looking at it, I kinda think these things should be put into practice but the idea is that it’s good to have a winning attitude by default, at least when “winning”is in harmony with the universe, meaning everyone wins. Sometimes though, it’s hard to shake out of the negative thought patterns we learn about needing a job, and having to get paid for any work we do, and without a job your dead or you gotta be fake and schmoozy to get a job. This post kind describes a solution to a problem. A solution that is healthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically(less tv) and socially. It is a “winning solution”. This solution should give readers a more positive and hopeful outlook on life. Finally, this solution came about because I chose to believe that there could be a positive solution to this problem. I chose to be positive and have a winning attitude. Without that it would have been way harder. So we should keep cultivating that winning attitude.

This might be a personality trait and not something everyone can relate to but I wouldn’t mind some opinions. Recently, having only a part time job of like 15 hours a week and no tests to study for being out of school and all, I’ve noticed that things that were once a lot of fun, have become less fun.

Now this might seem like a symptom of depression so far but let me continue. I still see some things as fun, just most goal related things, not things like TV or video games, the things I thought were a lot of fun back when I was in school or working full time. Here is the interesting bit. I had a personal training exam to study for and really buckled down for it, studying like 5 to 7 hours a day for lets say a week. I had already passed the exam once before which meant having to study for it again was mostly redundant and boring. We could say it was your standard “work”, standard “A.S.M.” style work.

The interesting part is that once I took a break after a few days of 5-7hr drudgery, anything I could think of doing seemed like it would be amazingly fun. It was like being being a kid in a candy store, that feeling. Now I’ve felt this feeling before, and maybe some of you have too, like when you get a study week or Christmas break. It’s like, “wow I could do so much fun stuff I barely know where to start”. So I got that feeling and then thought about studying languages and I was like, ” wow languages seem like so much fun right not, almost too fun”

So that was my observation, and my guess of why I and others probably experience that feeling are that fun might be actually relative within a certain time span. So if you do something that is really not fun for a certain length of time and then stop, you’ve built up this reference point of how little fun your life is. So you have that reference point in your mind and then you can do something fun and it will feel like even more fun relative to the reference point. However once you do the fun thing for a time, the reference point of how fun your life is changes, it moves up so that fun becomes the norm. However if fun becomes the norm, it actually becomes not fun, because you get used to it.

This is actually a bit of a defense of work and A.S.M., and I would love to hear other peoples opinions on the subject. The key concepts here are “desensitization” like becoming desensitized to fun. do you experience this? And for the sake of remaining sensitive to fun, is it worth it to do A.S.M. things on purpose? Also, a lot of A.S.M. things can work in your favor like you can earn money to do more fun things ect ect. So does anyone have thoughts?

Positive Attitude – they think they can succeed either because they have before or they understand why they haven’t succeeded before and logically rationalized why they can succeed in the future. It’s good for mental health because positive attitude/self efficacy means optimism and therefore not depression.

Prioritize – The understand that they have to make their one chosen most important present life goal the only thing they think about. They have to sacrifice for the time being, any goals or activities not related to that one goal or to their health(which is needed for that one goal haha) Then they need to avoid and remove any distractions in their life/environment and do a bit of preemptive filling of their environment with things related to their goal or go somewhere that has that. It’s good because it’s it allows us to be at our most alive(besides being in a life or death situation of course) A more philosophical reason but actually it is truly life enriching to be more alive than less so.

Felt Success – They know now what it feels like to succeed and want that feeling again.  maybe not as important as the first two.

Working hard allows people to achieve goals, It allows us to survive and especially to thrive once we learn how to prioritize our energies towards or most meaningful goals in life.