Have you every noticed that in movies and in TV shows, most of the common stereotypical characters have an outstanding command of the English language. Obvioulsy its all a script and the script writers can but days and days into the lines to make them as punchy and intelligent as possible. Also when you read the newspaper and other journals, you probably notice that the language is levels above what is commonly spoken. However when you read and watch this media, you don’t feel put off by it. It actually grabs your interest and garners a certain respect. These are people who have mastered the social skill of speaking their minds.
I feel like a limiting factor for me and possibly a lot of people as for as being more social is being able to express yourself optimally in your language. You might be really smart, you might have a lot of knowledge in a vast range of subjects, but if you can’t express your self properly verbally and/or in writing, a lot of people will judge you based on how you seem. You will seem less intelligent with a smaller vocabulary. Even if this is not true, think of what is true. Is it true that you are unable to get your thoughts across to another human being in a way that is easily understood. This should be important to you. I used to think that it was just because they weren’t trying hard enough to understand me or that they were lazy or stupid. Then however I noticed how I found greater enjoyment reading and listening to people who could express themselves clearly. Its just more efficient and therefore takes less energy for a listener or reader when the person speaking or writing is sending the message clearly, with more appropriate more expressive vocabulary, and with charm and wit.
Also how you organize what you say. You could have amazing command of vocabulary but if you can’t organize your thoughts properly before you speak it will seem and often may be the case that you have a lot of “thought clutter” keeping you from speaking in an organized manner. It would help in this case to organize your whole life, write down all those thoughts that are running rampant in your mind and organize them, file them lol, so you can be free to think more efficiently. Not less creatively, just with more of what you do want, and less of what you don’t.
If you get the impression that people are underestimating your intelligence and you think it has to do with your sociability you should work on it. Work on writing like essays and stuff where you have to organize your thoughts. Read to learn vocab and for examples of how to form sentences. Also learn any other social skills you are missing.
Maybe even use an SRS to remember the best way to word your most important values for if it comes up in conversation.
In my opinion missing social skills is a sign that the community your grew up in failed you in the way that they didn’t impart upon you the skills needed to socialize. That could only be done by them not socializing enough with you. You need to get yourself up to speed in any areas your community didn’t automatically give. Either that your its about your thoughts being unorganized and you should fix that. Or its both and you need to fix both. After this you will be valuable as a member of society who can impart these skills to someone else.